The day Giftmas and TV tag teamed to crush my spirit

Growing up we did not have the luxuries afforded to others. The other children in the neighborhood had fancy toys and large screen TVs. All we had were cardboard boxes that dad brought home from work. If we were lucky he would also bring us packing foam, that is until Timmy ate a box full and had to rushed to the hospital. Timmy had a way of ruining all our fun.
We use to cut the boxes and tape the together to make a TV so big it the other children jealous. Then the "over active" children would play football in it. The rest of us just imagined we watching the big game. Oh those were great times.

Every year at Giftmas my Uncle Wendy(his parents never liked him) would come over and tell us stories of his "wonderful life." They were the best stories that we had ever heard. We just could not get enough. It was not truly Giftmas without good old fashioned Wendy's stories.

There was one about the time he wish he was dead. An angel came to show him what life would be like without him. He told us of the one Giftmas where all he wanted was a Red Rider Air Rifle and the trouble he through to get it. There was the time when he and an old army buddy had a famous act in show business. One year they went up to Vermont where they meet their old general, who is down on his luck. Of course my Uncle and his buddy cheered him up. Then there was the time he hosted Giftmas at his house. That one is my favorite.

It had everything from blinding lights to crazy attacking squirrels. His strange but lovable cousin stopped by and ended up kidnapping Wendy's boss. A cat got burned while feasting on it's dinner of bulb on a rope. Oh the hi jinks ensued.

Well Uncle Wendy moved on to greener pastures in Kansas and we never heard from him again. With such loss we did what anyone in our potion would do. We bought a TV. What I saw shook me to the bone. On every channel there we one of Uncle Wendy's stories. I could not believe my eyes. I felt so betrayed. How could someone do such a thing to a poor innocent child like myself. I cried that night like never before. The night I learned that......TV had stolen my Uncle's life.

The day Giftmas ruined climbing trees

It was the night before Giftmas and all through the house a creature was stirring quite like a mouse(our pet hamster decided to go all AWOL on us during a cage cleaning). I was an inquisitive young lad of about 3. I saw a green furry monstrosity in the corner of the room. I normally avoid monstrous things, being relatively smart. However this monster was different. It had bright lights blinking in hypnotic syncopation. If that was not enough there was the brightest light ever known to man illuminating from the top.

I soon realized it's drawing power as I moved closer and closer. I stood next to the monster with it's fur tickling my nose. I was determined in my resolve to have that light. I took a deep breath, reached out grabbed the beast and started to climb. The monster shook violently, rocking back and forth, as if wailing in pain. Then it started it's attack hurling objects left and right with orbs of glass smashing all around.

I dodged what I could but there was too much and I lost my grip. In a quick act of desperation I reached out and caught a life line. To my surprise the bright lights of blinking hypnotic syncopation where connected by a rope. I knew that nothing could stop me now. With renewed determination I continued my ascent up the beast.

However nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The green furry monstrosity, in his last ditch attempt to thwart my determination, flung himself on top of me. A loud thud rang through the house and my loving father ran into the room to see what the ruckus was all about. I mustered up all the strength that I could and crawled out from the beast.

Bruised and battered I stood before my dad explaining how the monster was taunting me with his bright light. How instead of backing down I conquered my fear and took on my enemy. Explaining in detail my epic adventure.

As usual he did not seem amused. He then explained to me that the so called "monster" was really a tree. He also told me that some fat guy leaves "goodies" under said "tree". However since "I knocked it over" fatty would not leave anything at our house tonight. Since then I have never climbed a "tree". For I know their true nature.